Thursday, August 5, 2010

Age Spots and Belly Fat

I admit it. These are two of my many flaws. It's so sad. And as you know my reunion is fast approaching and I'm concerned about them. I have to do something.

Two age spots are on my face and one on my neck. They look like giant freckles. When I was younger I though it would be great if all of my freckles blended together but that never happened. Now many years later, I'm faced with this delimma. So today I took action and went to the dermatologist. He was kind enough not to refer to them as age spots; he was compassionate and called them PRE-CANCEROUS. He mumbled something as he took a cotton swab and dabbed something on my face and neck that felt like a combination of acid and hot wax. He warned that it might sting a little. Sting? I wasn't brave; I don't like pain. When he treated the spot on my neck, I swear I thought it was burning through to my throat and I just knew I would have to have a tracheotomy. The good doctor assured me that they would dry up and fall off before the reunion. They better. His parting words were, "Don't pick." A man of few words.

Then there is the issue of belly fat. I've heard that this happens to middle-aged women, but when did I turn middle-aged? This kinda snuck up on me. I want to wear my white linen pants, but I think they might be too tight. Breathing is very important to me and it might be compromised if I don't do something about what is often called, "muffin top." I get it.

So to solve this problem I bought this.

A hula hoop. Not just any hula hoop. This is weighted and holds water. There are other hoops at Sports Authority but those are seriously weighted, so much so that I could break my ribs if I let that contraption circle my waist. The duck tape is helping to hold it together and to keep it from leaking.

Now all I have to do it re-learn how to actually hula hoop and find some serious make-up just in case the spots don't fall off.

Thank goodness for class reunions. They make us take stock of our bodies and our lives, don't they?


FiddlerJim said...

Well, Nancy, you looked slim, trim and fit at the reunion.... So the hoop worked fine. However, I managed to gain over 10 lbs in about 4 months (during the summer!) after a close friend died. I covered with floppy clothes - not that I really covered....

So now I'm spending time with a nutritional adviser and walking several days a week. Perhaps I'll be slim and trim by the next reunion....

And those 'age spots' looked a lot like freckles to me....

Toni Lynn Trottier said...

Nancy - you looked fantastic at the class reunion! The last time I "hulahooped" was in the 4th grade - at the Kresque Hula Hoop contest. I went on for over 4 hours without stopping. There were 2 of us left "hooping" with no sign of stopping any time soon. The officials were getting tired and wanted the contest to end so they made us move the hoop from our waist to our neck and back down again. Well, I messed up and came in 2nd and won a five dollar gift certificate which lasted for weeks and weeks and weeks!