Television Has Gone To The Dogs

Last night when I should have been working on my web class I decided to take a break. The stress is taking a toll because I still have to take the final, complete my web page and actually shoot it out to never, neverland, aka the World Wide Web. All of this must be done in one week, but I'm livin' on the wild side, daring time to run out. So in the mist of all of this panic, I plopped myself on the couch to watch a little television.

While Tom was upstairs working on his music, I grabbed the remote and begin to work it. So many choices, so little time. I didn't want to watch Idol...too soon. I like to wait until the final twelve are selected. Too much drama...watching friends and family members standing on the balcony overlooking the stage. Please. Who's idea was that? They should be in the audience with the general public. Then came CNN with that woman who used to be on the Today show on the weekends. Campbell, that's her name. Too slanted. Too much of a big fake smile. Then there was FOX. I really don't like O'Reilly. He's such a chauvinist. Talk about slanted! After his show came Hannity. Please! Where do these people get their confidence? So I kept flipping.

Then came Dog. What a man. Who wouldn't want to watch him...Dog, the Bounty Hunter! What a family man. There is Beth, his lovely wife who has fingernails so long they could be considered legal weapons, his two sons, Duane Jr. and Leland, and a nephew, Tim, who does most of the legwork. Baby Lyssa, the daughter, is in a few of the shows. Then there is Bobby, the bail bondsman, who loaned those criminals the money to get out of jail. Beth is the glue in the family. Bless her heart, she needs a little guidance in the wardrobe department as does Dog, but it all seems to work. When I first saw Dog, I was somewhat surprised by his appearance. His hair looks something like the Wrestler's...long stringy blond. To make matters worse, sometimes he has jewelry braided into his locks. Can you just imagine how much noise that would make when he tries to sneek up on a fugitive? Hasn't he ever watched Venus play tennis for goodness sakes?

As luck would have it, the station was running a mini-marathon. I was lucky enough to see three episodes. The show starts in the morning before going on the hunt. Dog and family stand in a circle, hold hands, and have a word of prayer. Then they jump into two huge SUV's, get on their cells and get busy. After a lot of jumping in and out of the vehicles, knocking on doors, and talking with liars, they usually nab the jail bait. After the cuffs, it's in the car for a short therapy session. Beth is the best. She tries to convince them that they should be happy and thank them that they're on the way to the big house. She tells them this is their chance to start over. Hummm. I can think of better places to start over. Dog, on the other hand, likes to tell the riffraff that he has been in their place. He feels their pain. The compassion oozes. They seem to believe him. They set a date to do lunch when they are released. Not really. The reprobates are dropped of at the pokey and escorted in by one of the sons. All in a day's work.

It's a good thing that Dog isn't on every night. I have got to finish this class. For those of you who are snickering about Dog, I ask you, "Would you rather watch a blond hunk who wears sleeveless leather shirts with Mr. T jewelry, packing a pistol, or a small handsome batchelor who breaks hearts with his constant vaciliation. I like a man who knows what he wants.